goldfish races

The Friday Mash (Mike Royko Edition)

Fourteen years ago today, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Mike Royko died of a brain aneurysm. Royko, who grew up in Chicago, began his career covering that city’s colorful politicians. He was also fond of the Cubs, 16-inch softball, and having a few beers at the Billy Goat Tavern.

And now…The Mash!

We begin in Tacoma, Washington, where a bar has stopped holding goldfish races after the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals complained that drunken customers impaled swallowed the fish.

France’s Interior Ministry has banned riot police from drinking alcohol with their meal. Other government employees can still have beer, wine, or cider with their lunch.

In Fort Collins, Colorado, nine local brewers joined forces and created a beer to celebrate American Craft Beer with. The beer, which will debut May 16, will check in at about 6 percent ABV

John Miller of the Wall Street Journal wasn’t impressed with the non-alcoholic version of Hoegaarden, describing it as “akin to a watered-down lemon Fanta.” Ouch.

Don’t expect to find Taedonggang beer from Pyongyang, North Korea, on the tap list at your friendly local. Earlier this month, President Obama issued an executive order that further restricts the entry of North Korean goods into the United States.

Attention ladies! Ashley Rouston, the Beer Wench, has compiled a list (with photos) of the 20 most eligible bachelors of craft beer. Topping the list was Noah Regnery, the head brewer at Pizza Port Brewing Company.

Finally, if you’ve been invited to tomorrow’s royal wedding, don’t expect to find beer at the reception. The royal family has deemed it inappropriate for such a prestigious occasion. We can only imagine what Slats Grobnik, the character created by Mike Royko, would say about that.

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